Thursday, November 8, 2007

the bitch bartender


The shittiest slowest bartender in Hollywood. She works at Hollywood Billiards and is a bitch. A goth bitch. Takes forever to get us pitcher refills and is cold and snotty. We go there to play air hockey and because they have sports on. So after 15 pitchers of beer and numerous games of air hockey and shit talking, Jesse starts to kick "mad" game at her. (He buys her shots of jack and starts writing her notes on post cards he has acquired through out his day). He gives her a few post cards that he is writing what he thinks are clever and keen observations on and she opens up and starts to talk to him. He asks her if she has a boyfriend and she answers honestly that no she doesn't because she is a bitch. I nod in affirmation. It is closing time so Jesse asks her what bands she likes, opening the door to ask her out. She says she likes Flogging Molly so he offers to take her to the Avalon where Merfy works and the show is sold out. Just at that moment Merfy steps in and gets her number so he can get her into the show. Jesse feels like he has been cock blocked.
The Set Up: I wake up and Jesse starts to complain to us how he thinks he was cock blocked. He is getting madder and madder. I text Merfy to send me and Chris a text saying he called her and to not ask questions and just do it. So we are sitting in the car and i am egging on Jesse to get mad. Merfy sends this to our phones as instructed..

"I called Jody from last night and she was surprisingly awesome. Didn't care for the rest of you guys though. I think we are going out this weekend."

Chris hands Jesse his phone so he can read it. Jesse reads it and just drops the phone. He is so mad he cant speak. He then starts to get so mad he gets a headache. He thinks Merfy made her think that he wrote the notes. He wants to fight Merfy . He is screaming out the window at innocent people he is so mad. I want to tell him the truth because he is close to punching out the windshield. I show him the first text message i sent to Merfy asking him to mess with him.
After i show him he tells me he wants to turn around and punch me. Holland and I laugh so hard we almost crash the Armada (giant size SUV) of Shecter's.

1 comment:

M said...

Which one is she? (the bitch waitress) We just got a write up about that place over at lasnark.com .. we need a photo